I've got no place left to run, I'm bitterly dismissing things that have no right to my deconstruction and ridiculing them and why? Well, because I've fucking lost hope. Please don't dare tell me deep down you don't feel this way growing up in this wonderful, great, specular "land of the free". Go to high school, participate in things that you don't want to so that later in life it looks "good on your applications" doing so, in a sense suppressing your deepest urges to appease some bureaucrat who doesn't give a damn. Maybe I'm just a "jaded" teenager, or "hormones" (I'm 19) but every form of "help" is just another veil of capitalist rubbish. Capitalize on those who are hopeless via religion, pray to a man-made concept used to govern our ancient, ignorant ancestors. The funniest joke of them all "God loves all people". Are you serious? Open your eyes to all the people born with terminal diseases for crying out loud. Twelve step drug rehabilitation programs that encourage us to "submit ourselves to a higher power". Maybe ignorance is bliss and everyone watching the Real Housewives of X city have it right, dumb yourself down and watch it all burn. Is everyone just trolling? Every day people patronize me because I royally fucked up my hands a year ago, they talk to me in that tone and I know exactly where they're coming from every time. Pity the cripple, OK sure I get it. People look down upon me because even though I'm a lost cause, I refuse to bow down to some false deity and hope. "Why don't you go see a therapist?" they say, so I can be another victim of the capitalist conspiracy, while someone who's "achieved" enough merit via graduating from corrupt cash sinks known as colleges to be certified enough to pretend to give a shit about me until I'm out the door. Escapism sets in.
Escapism, The Last Refuge
World of Warcraft, for the nearly 6 years I've played since open beta it has given me more memorable experiences and interactions than many of my real life exploits. There are brilliant people who seek refuge within WoW just as I do, although the main attraction for many players to attain max level and feel powerful; I've very much enjoyed experiencing the true nature of people when they don't have to wear a mask and put on a fake image in public. I'm not the best player ever, but I've achieved sought after milestones in the game such as getting Gladiator and sold many accounts for real life cash (read: heroin money). This game has been one of the only things keeping me sane I think, the daily routines I have within the game give my life a slight semblance of normalcy in my life. Accomplishing something with a group of people you once thought would never be able to grasp the concept of is spectacular! Escapism is shunned in our society, WoW players are considered pizza-faced losers with no lives who are all basement dwelling virgins, but in a society where being "successful" varies on the number of women you stick your penis into who meet a certain standard of beauty, how many "cool" cars you own or what have you, I see no reason to escape from the idiocy and increasingly degenerative society the US, and through the process of globalization even the World.
This one took a little too long to write for my liking and I know it is sloppy, but I'd kindly appreciate feedback as encouragement to keep this blog alive. Please suggest topics too!!